![]() I am Bill Murray (if he was a schoolgirl) and this is Groundhog Day. Unless I travel back in time and relive the last few months of my life. School, with its petty politics, hard work, and peculiar hierarchies is not for me. A lot of the things I say don’t make much sense.Īnd I’ve developed a taste for violence, getting in fights – which I always know are coming, thanks to the wailing of guitars – with pigeon biker gangs and cruising the mean streets with a bad ass sparrow. One where I’m tipped in sweets and talk about old ladies in Osaka for some reason. Somewhere down the line, unbeknownst to me, the path that would lead me into my fantail amore’s arms wings was closed off to me and my life has taken a dramatically different direction. My plan to seduce Sakuya has fallen by the wayside, for some reason, and I spend most of my time in a parrot-owned coffee shop, where I’ve got a job. Nothing will stop me from achieving this dream. ![]() My plan is working, and soon everything will be mine. I’ve taken up the position of vice president, which impressed Sakuya. I guess Sakuya could become the first pigeon. My new plan is to seduce Sakuya and eventually take over as president of the school. Here’s the thing, though, diary: my lust for feathery men is only matched by my lust for power. But the best of the best join the school council, which Sakuya – the snobby fantail – is president of, despite only just joining the school. Pigeonations offers a great deal of extra-curricular activities. My narcoleptic teacher was none too impressed when he informed me – between naps – of my poor performance.Īs the premier school for birds, St. My focus on carrying a good tune has done me no good when it comes to my exams, either. I have been noticing, however, that most of my hard work goes unremarked by my peers or teachers, and I seem to have little use for my growing skills. Mathematics would make me wiser, gym class would make me more vital, but what I really needed was charisma, so I could seduce every bird under the sun. My throbbing libido had to take a back seat as I decided what class I was going to take. My lust for feathery animals must sometimes be set aside for work. He’s pretty awful, but check out that plumage!īut the most important thing I’ve discovered about my avian overlords is that they absolutely love puns. I know to check behind curtains when entering a room, in case there’s a bird sleeping there, and I’m getting to grips with the uncomfortable class hierarchy that puts fantail pigeons on the top – like this guy: I’ve learned a lot about my avian chums, this semester – perhaps too much. I will repopulate the planet by seducing my new avian friends and birthing some kind of human-pigeon hybrid. I appear to be the last living human, but instead of wallowing in self pity, I’ve left my cave – yes, I live in a cave – and enrolled in a school for gifted birds. So read on to discover if I found love or only loneliness in this post-human, pigeon society.
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